July 10, 2007

  •  Mourning Joy

     

    The phrase Crying cleanses the soul has always intrigued me. Why would mourning cleanse our bodies? Often times when we mourn, a deep feeling of sorrow invades the soul. We can feel hopeless, worthless, and abandoned. Our stomachs feel heavy and our eyes grow sleepless and red. We do not see the door out of this grief we feel. Death, rejection, and unexplainable calamities cause this feeling of deep-seeded angst. However, it is important to note that we cannot live in a state of grief for it will deteriorate our health, relationships, and personality. God has not called us to live in a state of lament. He has beckoned us to live in an existence of courage, which is an overcoming of fear and depression. Yes, we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God. Jesus says, as Christians, we are to suffer trials and tribulation; but, we cannot let this current tribulation conquer our souls. The soul Christ placed inside us is a channel to an endless eternity with Him.

     

    Seven years ago, my little sister and best friend, Kristen, was diagnosed with a brain tumor on her optic nerves. Within a week of this notification she was scheduled to have emergency brain surgery. The tumor was intertwined with the optic nerve. When given the normal eye test, Kristen, ranked as legally blind. Her vision was 20/1400. Surgery was not an option. If something went wrong, there was a sixty percent chance she would be blind for life. My family did not see an end in sight. The Light at the end of the tunnel had become only a hazy glow. We believed in God. We believed his son was Jesus, but there had never been a critical time in our lives where Christ was calling to us…Come near to me. Trust me. I am the God of healing and endless peace. I can remember lying on the floor, alone, in our home. My tears soaked the carpet below my face. I was in an utter state of desperation. Prostrate on the floor, I cried out…Heal my sister. Heal her God. This was all I could say over and over again for hours. I wept loud and hard from my gut. I knew God’s words were the bread of life, so, I read. I read endlessly, searching and longing for the Father to speak to me. And without fail, he did. I turned to Jeremiah 16:17, “I have not run away from being your shepherd. You know, I have not desired the day of despair.” It was then I knew. God was going to protect His daughter, Kristen. He cared endlessly for my sister, as he does for all of his children. He does not desire despair but, instead, wants strength and perseverance to develop in our hearts through earthly distress. He wants us to become hopeless in the world so that we will become ever-hopeful in Him.

     

    At that point, my family decided to stand on God’s promises. His words were not just beautiful poetry, but they were passages of power. Psalm, a book in the Bible, known for King David’s lamenting verses, became the way in which God powerfully spoke to us. Psalm 18:28 became the cry of our hearts. “You Oh Lord keep my lamp burning. My God turns my darkness into light.” In this trial we felt like we were enveloped in night. We were campers lost in a dark, terrifying forest; however, God was not absent. In fact, he was lighting the path beneath our feet. His Words were the lanterns in our hands. He was lighting the way out.

     

    Now, seven years after Kristen’s surgery, her vision is 20/40 in the right eye and 20/20 in the left. What a miracle! She does not take medication nor is she faced with the threat of never driving. She is normal in everyway and is about to enter college in the engineering program at Texas A&M. I would say she has been blessed through this trial. She knows the strength of God’s healing hand, and truly can feel the peace that Jehovah-Shalom rains upon her life. Psalm 18:28 has become her life verse. Though she has an incision that stretches across the right side of her head, she is thankful. This is just a mark of strength. This is a reminder that though sorrow may last for a night. Rejoicing comes with each new morning. Sorrow is cleansing. It washes away weakness and gears up our bodies for endless, beautiful blessings. Praise be to God! He is the constant peace in our sorrow.

     

    Psalm 30:5

    “…weeping may remain for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

     

    Painting Title:

    "Joy comes in the Morning"